After years of searching, a few close calls, and some truly bizarre auditions, we were just about ready to throw in the towel. The gaping hole left in our band’s creative core—thanks to our founding member and guitar wizard Constantin permanently migrating to the capital of this great nation—felt impossible to fill.
In a last-ditch effort, Les consulted his Russian-speaking connections once again. “Why don’t you ask Boris?” they said. Boris? That Boris? The guy who melts faces at our local speakeasy, Barsuk, with the kind of guitar sorcery that makes grown musicians question their life choices? Could he handle prog? Would he even want to?
Turns out, Boris is not only a huge King Crimson fan but also shreds a Parker Fly guitar just like Adrian Belew—with the skills to match. Naturally, we were skeptical. Too many had failed to survive even our easiest songs. “Give him the hardest tune,” we said. “We don’t want to waste anyone’s time.”
Next week, Boris walked in, obliterated the track with terrifying precision, and left Kyree jumping and squealing like she just won a lifetime supply of Moog synthesizers. Then he immediately dove into the new album, crafting so much face-melting material that we nearly had to schedule emergency reconstructive surgery.
So, without further ado, we present our newest band member, the one and only Boris Kalantyr —the axe-wielding, prog-bending, tone-summoning sorcerer of Half Past Four. We’re honored to have him on board, and working with him has been nothing short of a pleasure.